My Difficulties with My Teenage Children
Since my kids turned around 14 or 15 years old, I have been receiving hell from them and its been getting worse. They are now 16 years old and now they say things to me like: I don't want to hear you speak. You are wrong and I am right. They vehemently express their opinions to me, eventhough I did not say I disagree. Everyday I dread opening my mouth or even talking to them. I actually avoid talking to them. They have set up the situation where I find it very difficult to talk to them. I hear others say that this is normal and that other parents are getting it too. But I find it very hard to take, when they put you down saying things like "I can't wait to be away from you so that I can live on my own and have my own life". It is so insane that I would be in this situation where if it weren't for me, they wouldn't even be here at all and to hear them cuss at you, yell at you, argue with you, shoved their opinion loudly on you, insult you, belittle you, turn the table on you when I do what I intended to be helpful to them, they said they do not want me to help them or that my intention is because this is what I want for them, not what they want for themselves, all these said in an angry way like I am the enemy and at times said and behaved like they hate you......is really mind boggling.
Since my children turned teenagers, life for me is almost unbearable. I am renting a house. My teenager kids are frequently fighting, yelling at me. The landlord has mentioned that we might want to move to another place due to the frequent fighting and yelling and he has other guests in his house that is affecting him and his guests. I agree with the landlord on this point that we should be respectful and shouldn't have negative impact on the other people living in the house. But I am unable to control my teenage kids. They just do whatever they feel like doing. They don't care about me and others. They only care about how they feel, how they look, their opinions and their friends. At times the argument between my teenage kids and myself is so hateful and at time violent against me. My daughter is 5' 7". My son is 5'6" and I am 5'3". They can physically over power me. Sometimes they tag team and combine their verbal attack to me.
The landlord asked me if I would like to move to another place and my answer to him is yes I can move. Actually I want to leave and live my peaceful life, without my teenage kids. The only reason I am here is I am providing cooking, food, money, transportation, cleaning, laundry support and whatever support they need for their lives. The only reason I am here is for them, but since they frequently say they hate me and they don't want to be with me. I figure I can just go. I would save a lot more money for myself and don't have to spend any money due to their expenses.
I am very very very tempted to just take off on my own and live my own life. I am really seriously considering this.
I wonder why am I putting up with this ? I don't put up with this from no one. Not from my boss, not from my co-workers, not from my boyfriends, not from no one.
I have heard from many parents who said the teenage years are going to be hell. Well, they are right and it is happening. I am just not sure I can live like this and I am seriously considering extracting myself out of my teenagers lives.
My teenagers keep on telling me they don't want me involved in their lives and they want to live their own lives. Why can't I just do that? I can simply get in my car and drive away and let them deal with everything life has to offer in their lives.
I would love to hear comments or feedback affirming that yes I can leave. They are 16 years old this year.
Since my children turned teenagers, life for me is almost unbearable. I am renting a house. My teenager kids are frequently fighting, yelling at me. The landlord has mentioned that we might want to move to another place due to the frequent fighting and yelling and he has other guests in his house that is affecting him and his guests. I agree with the landlord on this point that we should be respectful and shouldn't have negative impact on the other people living in the house. But I am unable to control my teenage kids. They just do whatever they feel like doing. They don't care about me and others. They only care about how they feel, how they look, their opinions and their friends. At times the argument between my teenage kids and myself is so hateful and at time violent against me. My daughter is 5' 7". My son is 5'6" and I am 5'3". They can physically over power me. Sometimes they tag team and combine their verbal attack to me.
The landlord asked me if I would like to move to another place and my answer to him is yes I can move. Actually I want to leave and live my peaceful life, without my teenage kids. The only reason I am here is I am providing cooking, food, money, transportation, cleaning, laundry support and whatever support they need for their lives. The only reason I am here is for them, but since they frequently say they hate me and they don't want to be with me. I figure I can just go. I would save a lot more money for myself and don't have to spend any money due to their expenses.
I am very very very tempted to just take off on my own and live my own life. I am really seriously considering this.
I wonder why am I putting up with this ? I don't put up with this from no one. Not from my boss, not from my co-workers, not from my boyfriends, not from no one.
I have heard from many parents who said the teenage years are going to be hell. Well, they are right and it is happening. I am just not sure I can live like this and I am seriously considering extracting myself out of my teenagers lives.
My teenagers keep on telling me they don't want me involved in their lives and they want to live their own lives. Why can't I just do that? I can simply get in my car and drive away and let them deal with everything life has to offer in their lives.
I would love to hear comments or feedback affirming that yes I can leave. They are 16 years old this year.
In the U.S. the only way parents are allowed to discipline children is by giving them consequences. But teenagers do not allow parents to give them consequences. So for instance, if I say the consequence of you child for yelling spitting and being violent on me, is you cannot meet your friends in the mall on Saturday. The teenager reaction is that the parent is controlling them, threatening them. It is a no win situation. Humans just only know what they see and what they want. It is this very trait that will be the self destruction of humans. My teenager daugher has hit me, pushed me, taken my laptop threatened to break it. She is very very violent, disrespectful, mean. Actually to be honest, not really a good human being in my view. I am not allowing myself to be threatened by teenagers. I have to do what is right for me. In order for me to be out of this violent situation, I am going to take myself out of it. I have the means to leave so I will. Now for them these non-graduated high school teenagers, they have no work experience, no skill, no money, does not own anything. They want me to leave them alone and I CAN. In fact, I really really want to. However, they (these teenagers) have nothing to survive on, no money, no place to stay, no food. But I have to take care of myself and not allow myself to be in a violent position, so I am going to leave. Maybe not at this very moment, but when the opportunity presents itself, I will.
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